Thursday, December 18, 2014

Lesson #16: It is amazing what love can reveal

As a part of my Build Corps requirements, I have to do a quarterly reflection.

One of the questions is: Please describe a situation in which you had a direct impact on a client, a volunteer, your Service Site, or your community. Your description should clearly show how something you did changed something about the situation, family, or individual involved.

This is my answer.

I am a really intense person when I am in my element.  I talk a lot, I ask lots of questions, I get excited, I am overly positive, and I love whatever I am doing.  I like to think that most of the time it’s a good thing.  But, I am aware that sometimes it can be too much and I can exhaust a person just as easily as I can energize them.  This is blaring true the week that I move a new resident into Elizabeth Place.  I get so excited about all the resources we have, the volunteers who can help, and the progress that is waiting to be made.  I love to help people!  During this time, daily I have to remind myself to chill out and take it down a notch.  The person that I am currently drowning with all my energy does not share the same feelings; not even close.  The person that I am sitting across from practically screaming at in excitement is scared, nervous, worried, confused, and unsure of the decision they just made.  The person I am sitting across from is in a state of survival mode and this is all new and they aren’t sure if it is good or bad yet.  I struggle with this every time.  I try to explain to them how wonderful Elizabeth Place is, how much love is here, how many resources we have, how many friends they will meet, how much fun they will have but they just stare at me in disbelief.  It has always been like this.

Recently, I admitted a resident who was like this, but to the extreme.  Despite my efforts, she continued to function as if she didn’t have access to any resources.  I tried to give her options of ways we could help and she turned them down.  I told myself to give her time.  The other residents in the house worried about her.  They came to me saying that she was quiet, she kept to herself, and she spent a lot of time in her room.  I told them the same thing I told myself, give her time.  It wasn’t until one day I overheard a conversation in the other room that I fully understood.  One of our volunteers was offering to give her a ride and my resident accepted.  She then told the volunteer, “This has been really hard for me.  I have never had people in my life who have been nice to me.   I have never had people in my life who truly want to help me.  I know everyone is excited to help but I have to get used to allowing people to.  I have never had this before.”  With tears rolling down my cheeks, I walked away with a new understanding.  It is in these moments that I am not sure if I am making more of an impact on my residents, or if they are the ones making the most impact on me.

One month later, she is happy and the light in her eyes is bright.  She tells me she is happy and that she is proud of herself for getting here.  Her laugh is contagious and she is a loving soul.  It is amazing what love can reveal.

No comments:

Post a Comment