In Haiti I learned SO many lessons. My whole team learned so many lessons. I literally don't know where to begin!
Lesson #6: Going to Haiti WILL change your life, if you let it
I knew going in that I would come back different. I knew that the person getting on the plane would not be the person getting off the plane. I had no idea that my world would be turned upside down.
People say, step out of your comfort zone. Try something new. Up until then, stepping out of my comfort zone had been trying the new vegetable from our CSA. Stepping out of my comfort zone had been going to Washington, DC and sleeping on the floor. Stepping out of my comfort zone had been going to work in a camp in New Mexico for an entire month without cell service. When I stepped into Haiti, I was given a new definition of comfort zone. I had never really, truly been out of my comfort zone. Not like this. The people, the buildings, the weather, the language, the smells, the tastes, the noises, the animals, the atmosphere, the traffic flow (or lack of), the attitudes, the money, the bathrooms, the shops,the plants, and the names were ALL new to me. In a blink of an eye, everything I knew was stripped from me and I had thrown myself into a world of unknown.
At first, I hated it. On our 7 and a half hour bus ride, (YES, it was supposed to be 3 hours tops, it ended up being 7 and a half. Soak that in. Then add the fact that we went 18 miles. Shocked? We were too). Anyway, on our 7 and a half hour bus ride I asked God a million times, why did You do this? Why am I here? I don't belong here. How am I supposed to lead a group of 10 in a country I know nothing about? I think You made a mistake, I am not cut out for this. I was simply overwhelmed, culture shocked, and I felt all alone.
I could have shut down, went through the week numb. I have seen many do this on my past trips. I have seen it done before. I was tempted. I was SO tempted. It felt too hard. But instead, I prayed. And I prayed hard. I have never spent so much time in prayer. Me? Pray? Not usually, not that often. I use music as my way to worship. Me? Pray? Not usually.
See, some people, they learn after the first time they are told. Me? Sometimes I have be told twice, or three times, my mom would argue I have to be told 20. I learned a lesson once before, a long time ago. In 2008 I believe? I went to New Mexico for the second time. I stayed there for the whole month of June and while I was there I worked at a camp. Working at camp IS NOT EASY. You wake up and begin your day around 6:30am? And you do not stop until 7:30 or 8pm. Once again, I had no cell service, except a few hours on Saturdays. And in 2008, Matt, who was my boyfriend then, was, of course, my whole world. I was a teenager in love. So, by the end of the four weeks I was tired, homesick, and emotionally exhausted. I got on the plane to leave, but I wasn't going home. I was flying to Chicago to join my youth group for a week long mission trip. I was sitting in the airport, waiting for the church van to pick me up, my phone was about to go dead, and the van was stuck in traffic. (Not 7 and half hours, thankfully). The same thoughts were going through my head. Why did I do this? God, why am I here? I am tired, homesick, and emotionally exhausted. I can't make it through this week. It's impossible. So, I prayed. I prayed for God to give me strength. I needed strength so bad. Physical strength, emotional strength, and mental strength. And let me tell you, I got it. The only explanation for me getting through that week was God. He gave me strength and I felt refreshed. I enjoyed that week and learned a lot. I was thankful for my week in Chicago when I left.
So, let's refocus, I am sitting in the bus, in the middle of Haiti, people running all around us, beggers at our windows, motorcycles honking and flying by, cars going every direction, and I feel like I am all alone. So, I prayed. I prayed for the same thing I did in the Chicago airport. I prayed for strength. Physical, emotional, and mental strength. And I also prayed for my eyes, ears, and heart to be open. Open to the things I was supposed to see, hear, and learn. I prayed that my team's eyes, ears, and hearts would be open too. I wanted so badly to embrace the country of Haiti and to learn from the people. And I did. We did.
So, if you let it, Haiti will teach you a lot. Haiti is something special, I cannot wait to tell you all about it.
Can't wait for more.....
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